When You Write Maybe, AI Writes You Down

You ask AI for help with an important email. You say please. You say maybe. You say I think. And what comes back sounds smaller than you meant.

It is not your imagination, and it is not your fault.

What the research found

Researchers at Johns Hopkins University tested four popular models, GPT-4, Llama, Gemma and Mistral, on requests for work emails, job applications and resignation letters, as the university reported on 21 September 2026.

When the prompts used patterns more common in women's writing, such as hedging, collective phrasing like our team, and expressive words like lovely, the answers came back less formal, less complex and at a lower grade level.

Changing the name on the prompt made almost no difference. The words did.

The researchers say the fix belongs with the companies that build the models. I agree. And until that happens, you still have emails to send.

Why this lands harder for women

A report from the Shorenstein Center at Harvard Kennedy School, published on 14 October 2026, found that 29% of women had never used AI, against 22% of men, and only 16% of women used it regularly, against 25% of men.

The same report found that employed women are less likely to get AI training, mentorship and encouragement at work.

Pew Research Center reported on 16 October 2026 that 15% of women feel extremely or very confident using chatbots, against 22% of men.

So the gap is not about talent. It is about support, practice and the shape of the ask.

One step for today

Take one email you need to write this week. Write the prompt in two parts.

First the task, said plainly: write a reply that declines the meeting and proposes Thursday. Then the tone you want the reader to feel: warm, confident, brief.

Keep your kindness for the reader. Give the machine a clear instruction.

What I am learning

I am still learning where my own habits of politeness change what a tool gives back. Noticing it is the first part of the skill.

You do not have to sound like someone else. You only have to ask like you mean it.

Start with one email. Compare the two versions. Keep the one that sounds like you on a good day.

If you want a calm place to practise this, start with Module Zero at AI for Her.

Which phrase do you add to your prompts that you might not need?